Love Your Children

I noticed many moons ago that my children respond to love. It is interesting to see the difference in how they need to be loved. My son will be 16 in August and my daughter just turned 8. My son’s main response to most questions are I don’t know. He doesn’t like to be seen with his parents and often requests that we not talk to the other kids parents when we arrive at their house to pick him up. It’s like he is a secret agent who may get his cover blown if we happen to converse with the enemy parents. I’m  sure most parents can relate to this because they probably in some way did not want to be seen with their parents when they were teenagers. For me it is hard to remember that far back and all the garbage  I was going through with the hormones and the acne and the insecurities I had about myself. I do remember that my parents always loved me no matter what I did.

My wife and I do all that we can to bless and love our son. We endeavour to build him up and tell him how great he is.  We hold him to standards that he is expected to adhere to. Oh and we do talk to the other children’s parents when we pick our son up.  I spent most of the last four years coaching him in baseball in an effort to build his character and confidence. I’m a firm believer that every father should be involved in his child’s life.  (Have you seen the movie The Rookie. Jimmy Morris played by Dennis Quaid has a father who never had time for him when he was growing up.  Consequently the two never really developed a close father, son bond.  I have done whatever I can to help him through adolescence, and so has my wife. Believe me it would have been easier for me to do my own thing and not spend hours upon hours coaching baseball. I love my son and want the best for him I like spending time with him and, I will do whatever it takes to set him up for success not only now, but later in life also.

Love is not the lovey dovey mishmash garbage you see going on today where the parents allow their children to play video games all day and do whatever they want. To often  children have no parameters and end up holding the parents hostage with their disobedience and rebellion. Another mistake some parents will make  is to defend their children even though what the child did is totally wrong. Usually these type of parents have children that are totally unruly and constantly causing heartache and headaches for the parents and anyone else that comes in contact with the child.   Love is establishing standards and  then holding your children to the standards. I wrote a post not long ago called Discipline Your Child a Biblical Perspective which I would suggest you check out after reading this article.
Now not everyone is into the Bible and that is Ok, but what I’m sharing here is true whether you are into the Bible or not. Children Respond to Love .

Girls are so much different than boys. My daughter is miss love and miss demanding at the same time. She can be so sweet and tender and yet demand you do something in the same breath. She can also be very dramatic when she doesn’t get her way. I hate to say it but I usually end up laughing when she becomes the crying drama queen. I know thats terrible but when she gets going it is so funny. Of course me laughing only upsets her more. The key in loving her is not giving in to her crying, but hold her to the standard that my wife and I have set as a parents. Love is setting boundaries and holding your children to them. Love is caring  and being there when your children need you. The nice thing about her is she is quick to change her mind after the tirade.

My mom used to do something that I’ve never forgotten and I’ve utilized in raising our children. When I would get in trouble and my mom would get mad at me and discipline and punished me, she would always  come back to me after all was said and done, and hug me and tell me she loved me.  I believe this is a huge key in loving your children into obedience. Even though I was upset and reaping the consequences of my disobedience I always knew that mom still loved and cared for me. 

So rise up and love your children. Give them boundaries and hold them to the boundaries. Love them by going back to them and letting them know that you love them  after they have been disciplined. And above all spend time with them. Give them what they need a loving heart that cares for them.