Let Go, Making Love Last

How do people do it?  They make commitments for life, but only keep them for a few months or years. I don’t see where the wedding vows say until divorce do you part. It’s death do you part, and I haven’t seen
where any people have died during divorce. Although some people probably wouldn’t mind their spouse dying during the process. Why don’t people let go and make love last?

My wife has had the disney movie Enchanted playing in our house over the past few weeks. There is a song in the movie called That’s How You Know, that  I find interesting. I know it’s a movie but the lyrics make some points that could help make love last.

Here are some of those tips.
1. Leave her notes to tell her she is on your mind.
2. Send flowers when the sky is gray.
3. Find a new way to show her everyday.
4. Each day do something to need her.
5. Find Little things to do for her to bless her.

I love these little tips. Yeah they are from a movie, not a professional  marriage counselor who is trained in helping people but, if you look at relationships and the courting process you will realize that these are all things that men usually do before they get married. It’s once a couple is married that these tend to fall off.

The key to keeping your relationship sweet is to keep these things going after you are married. After kids have arrived, after you’ve been married for a few years, and after the initial romance of newly weds is through.

Love is work, relationships are work, it just depends on how willing people are to make their lives together a loving life where the couple continues to care for each other. It’s the little things we do for each other that will make that relationship stay sweet.

When I was single it was all about me. When I got married it became all about us. When kids came along it became us and the kids. There’s plenty to do when you’re taking care of so many people.  So a couple needs to prioritize what is most important. Kids are not first, you didn’t marry them. Your relationship needs to remain first. It’s the little things that you do for each other that will keep your marriage sweet.

Ladies your man needs repect. If he is loving you the way every man should then, your respect is absolutely necessary. If a man is loving a woman, but doesn’t get back that repect, he will soon grow weary of doing his part in the relationship. Respect and love require communication! Without communication it is impossible for a couple to stay sweet on each other.  In some ways I think that there are to many distractions for people to stay sweet on each other. When I was child there were no cell phones, there was no internet, television did not have five or six hundred channels. Maybe it’s time to turn the TV off, shut your cell phone down, and unplug the internet for a night. Now stare into each others eyes and share how much you love and respect each other. 

I noticed that one of the tips on the list is find a new way to show her every day. Guy’s do something totally unexpected and different become unpredictible in your methods of loving her. You will keep her guessing whats next, and bring an excitement to the relationship that will truly help to make love last.

So let go and make your love last. You will find that, it’s worth it.

You Didn’t Marry Your Kids

Not long ago I found out some people I’ve known for years had decided to separate and get a divorce. It was shocking because this family was the all American dream family, three nice children a nice home, two cars. They always seemed to get along and they are well liked in the community. So what’s the deal with the divorce? How can two people who seem to have it all get a divorce?

I thought about this for a time and realized one of the problems may have been the fact that their kids were first. They had their children in to many activities between boy scouts, sports, and clubs in school to be quite honest the parents were running around like chickens with theire heads cut off. Parents get so caught up in making sure they take care of their children that they forget about each other. They are so worn out by the end of the day that they don’t even talk. The TV goes on and they watch a show or they go to bed and conk out without even an I love you. Folks You Didn’t Marry Your Kids.

Years ago my wife and I decided that we would allow our kids to be in one activity at a time. My son was, and still is in baseball, and my daughter is in girl scouts. Now I only have two kids (which is plenty for me) some people have four and five kids. I think if I had  four or five children I would only allow a couple of children at a time be involved in an extra curicular activity.  Anyway people get so carried away with their children that they forget about each other. They forget about romance they forget about dating each other they forget about spending one on one quality time with each other. All the romantic things the man used to do when they were dating  stops. The relationship goes stale in the day to day monotony of keeping up with the childrens activities. 

Parents it’s time to date again. Years ago some friends of ours suggested that having a date once a week would be helpful in keeping our marriage sweet. We listened to this wise counsel and have never regretted it. I know if you have five kids that can be difficult to do, and yes sitters can be expensive. So here’s a tip, hook up with another family that has children your kids ages, and do swaps. When you have the other family watching your kids go out   and have a good time. Perhaps you can take turns choosing what you are going to do.  There’s the movies, going out to dinner, going to a play, to the beach (if your near water), hiking, etc. Some nights our date is sitting out on patio and talking while sipping on a cup of coffee. Men we’re responsible to keep the fire in the romance burning. So fan the flames.

I think sometimes men are from the old school of thinking. For instance many kids who were raised back when I was raised had parents where the mom didn’t work so she did most everything around the house. Made the meal washed the dishes did the laundry cleaned the house took care of the kids etc.  Today is a different time where most wives are working as long and as hard as the men.  It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that the woman does most everything when she gets home. Makes the meal, does the dishes and takes care of the children. Guys that’s going to wear your wife out and frustrate her. Give her a break!  Why not do the dishes after supper. If you have young kids put them to bed some nights. The more a couple works together to handle all of the household responsiblilitys the more blessed the household will be. It’s caring for one another and recognizing when a spouse needs a break.

Love is like a plant, it has to be watered. Love grows when you tend to each other, when there is a genuine care and nurturing of your spouse. The romance should never go out of your relationship

You Leave a Lasting Impression on Your Children

 Last night I stumble on to an article that was written by one of my children about loves true soul mate. It was a love story that rang close to being true to how my wife and I actually met and got married. 

 Over the years my wife and I have been totally in love with one another and we have exemplified that to our children. Love is something that children see and identify with, it’s something that every man woman and child desires. So when I came across this story I was amazed at the lasting impression my wife and I had on our young upstarts.

 

Think about this folks, what we parents do, has an impact on our children that is undeniable. For instance if my wife and I fought all the time we would have children that grew up in a home that arguing and anger would seem normal to them. They in turn would most likely act the same with each other and with their spouse when they got married.

 

My wife and I hardly ever fight or argue but when we do have disagreements and differences of opinion we tend to settle them quietly and generally not in front of our children.  Lets face it marriage is work that is not always easy, but the rewards for doing the work are great. Parents the mark you leave on your children will greatly depend on how you handle your personal home life affairs.  

 

My children see the love that my wife and I have for each other. They observe how we seldom quarrel. For them our relationship is the norm for how a couple should live life. Totally in love!!!

In retrospect I expect that the apple will not fall far from the tree. I’m believing that what our children learn from us they will apply now and when they get older and develop a romantic relationship of  their own.