You Didn’t Marry Your Kids

Not long ago I found out some people I’ve known for years had decided to separate and get a divorce. It was shocking because this family was the all American dream family, three nice children a nice home, two cars. They always seemed to get along and they are well liked in the community. So what’s the deal with the divorce? How can two people who seem to have it all get a divorce?

I thought about this for a time and realized one of the problems may have been the fact that their kids were first. They had their children in to many activities between boy scouts, sports, and clubs in school to be quite honest the parents were running around like chickens with theire heads cut off. Parents get so caught up in making sure they take care of their children that they forget about each other. They are so worn out by the end of the day that they don’t even talk. The TV goes on and they watch a show or they go to bed and conk out without even an I love you. Folks You Didn’t Marry Your Kids.

Years ago my wife and I decided that we would allow our kids to be in one activity at a time. My son was, and still is in baseball, and my daughter is in girl scouts. Now I only have two kids (which is plenty for me) some people have four and five kids. I think if I had  four or five children I would only allow a couple of children at a time be involved in an extra curicular activity.  Anyway people get so carried away with their children that they forget about each other. They forget about romance they forget about dating each other they forget about spending one on one quality time with each other. All the romantic things the man used to do when they were dating  stops. The relationship goes stale in the day to day monotony of keeping up with the childrens activities. 

Parents it’s time to date again. Years ago some friends of ours suggested that having a date once a week would be helpful in keeping our marriage sweet. We listened to this wise counsel and have never regretted it. I know if you have five kids that can be difficult to do, and yes sitters can be expensive. So here’s a tip, hook up with another family that has children your kids ages, and do swaps. When you have the other family watching your kids go out   and have a good time. Perhaps you can take turns choosing what you are going to do.  There’s the movies, going out to dinner, going to a play, to the beach (if your near water), hiking, etc. Some nights our date is sitting out on patio and talking while sipping on a cup of coffee. Men we’re responsible to keep the fire in the romance burning. So fan the flames.

I think sometimes men are from the old school of thinking. For instance many kids who were raised back when I was raised had parents where the mom didn’t work so she did most everything around the house. Made the meal washed the dishes did the laundry cleaned the house took care of the kids etc.  Today is a different time where most wives are working as long and as hard as the men.  It wouldn’t surprise me to find out that the woman does most everything when she gets home. Makes the meal, does the dishes and takes care of the children. Guys that’s going to wear your wife out and frustrate her. Give her a break!  Why not do the dishes after supper. If you have young kids put them to bed some nights. The more a couple works together to handle all of the household responsiblilitys the more blessed the household will be. It’s caring for one another and recognizing when a spouse needs a break.

Love is like a plant, it has to be watered. Love grows when you tend to each other, when there is a genuine care and nurturing of your spouse. The romance should never go out of your relationship

You Leave a Lasting Impression on Your Children

 Last night I stumble on to an article that was written by one of my children about loves true soul mate. It was a love story that rang close to being true to how my wife and I actually met and got married. 

 Over the years my wife and I have been totally in love with one another and we have exemplified that to our children. Love is something that children see and identify with, it’s something that every man woman and child desires. So when I came across this story I was amazed at the lasting impression my wife and I had on our young upstarts.

 

Think about this folks, what we parents do, has an impact on our children that is undeniable. For instance if my wife and I fought all the time we would have children that grew up in a home that arguing and anger would seem normal to them. They in turn would most likely act the same with each other and with their spouse when they got married.

 

My wife and I hardly ever fight or argue but when we do have disagreements and differences of opinion we tend to settle them quietly and generally not in front of our children.  Lets face it marriage is work that is not always easy, but the rewards for doing the work are great. Parents the mark you leave on your children will greatly depend on how you handle your personal home life affairs.  

 

My children see the love that my wife and I have for each other. They observe how we seldom quarrel. For them our relationship is the norm for how a couple should live life. Totally in love!!!

In retrospect I expect that the apple will not fall far from the tree. I’m believing that what our children learn from us they will apply now and when they get older and develop a romantic relationship of  their own.