Marriage Help

I took a hiatus from writing for a while because all I ever seem to get is spammers putting their junk comments on my blog. It makes me wonder sometimes if anything I’ve written has helped anyone. When I stopped to reflect on this I realized that if just one person is helped by reading something I’ve written then my articles are a success. So I decided to continue to write with the thought in mind that there is at least one person out there who has been helped by what I’ve written.

A few days ago I was talking to a gentleman who I have known for a while, and he made the comment that after he and his wife had their first child she was no longer into having sex on a regular basis. I was shocked at first, and told him that if a wife withholds sex from the man he is going to go elsewhere to get his need met. I probably should not have said that, heaven forbid that something I said would cause a person to cheat on his wife. So I decided to come up with solutions to this dilemma.

There are two sides to every story and there is a good possibility that she may have good reason to withhold. I don’t know since I do not know this woman very well. So let me lay out some scenarios that could be a reason for this. 1) Perhaps she’s worn out with all the work she has in taking care of the home and a young child (the child is around 3 years old). 2) The guy isn’t very romantic. Every guy that has a satisfied wife knows that a woman needs romance. 3) It doesn’t matter what he does, she’s just not into it anymore.

Let’s address the first scenario. She’s worn out with all the work she has in taking care of the home and a young child. Men the job of being a house wife and a stay at home mom, or a working mom, is perhaps the hardest job in the world. Especially with a young child, let alone a mom who has multiple children. When a child needs something in the middle of the night, who takes care of it? The Mom, the mom usually handles all the late night child issues. During the day she has all the household chores, laundry, cleaning, plus she’s watching the children , and if little pee wee doesn’t nap mom doesn’t get a break. If she’s a working mom she has worked just as hard as you but now she’s expected to cook and clean up, and then take care of the children. Plus she’s preparing all the meals. By the end of the day she is dead tired and wants nothing do with sex.

What’s a guy who loves sex need to do to help take the load off of his wife so he can get what he wants? There’s an old saying, “sex begins at the kitchen table.” My translation of this is, help with things around the house, and thank her for all the hard work she does. Do the dishes tell her to take a break while you, clean up. Take care of pee wee for a while so she can have some her time. You will get more accomplished by being attentive to her needs, than if you only consider what you need.

The next problem is the guy has forgotten the romance that every woman needs. Perhaps you guys should watch some good chick flicks with your wife or girl friend. I know I’ve shared this before in another post but women are into relationships. My wife loves movies where there is romance and character development. We watched a movie together last night called Something New. This is a movie about black woman and a white male that fall in love, but have to deal with our society and the different prejudices put upon them by it. The male lead in this movie knows how to spark her fire and romance her. There’s a chemistry between them that makes the time they spend together hot. Whenever my wife watches this movie she comments on how she likes the way the man works with the woman to develop the hot passionate love that they have. Guys it’s up to you to light her fire.

Romance is a great key to developing the hot sex you men desire with your wife or girl friend. If you’re not getting any then maybe you’re not putting any effort into the romance part of life. If you romance her she will be more willing to put out when you are horny and just want some straight up sex.

She is just not into it anymore.

This is perhaps the hardest one to solve. If she’s just not into it anymore there could be any number of reasons why. Marriage is all about give and take. It’s about open and honest communication. Guys you need to initiate the conversation to find out what happened. Most women who really love their man will do anything to help satisfy his need.  Perhaps you need to start feeding her oysters, or some form of stimulant that helps to get the love juices flowing. There are plenty of sexual stimulants for women out there just make sure you do some research.

A solution will not be found without opening the lines of communication. Maybe you can print this article and show it to her if you’re not comfortable initiating a conversation on this topic! Any way you look at it, sitting around and doing nothing will not solve your sexual dilemma. Go talk to her right now! If she’s just not into it there may be more  in your relationship that needs to be resolved. Men you need to make yourself desirable to her. If you are greatly over weight and you are not taking care of yourself in the physical category then perhaps you need to join a health and fitness club. Make yourself more attractive to her. My wife and I work hard at keeping ourselves in fairly decent shape. Neither one of us has six pack abs, but we have worked at staying slender and attractive to each other. How you dress is also important. If you are sloppy or dirty in your personal habits why would your girl be interest in having sex with you? Perhaps you could go to counseling to make your love life better. The point is, it will take an effort on the part of both individuals to solve this issue. In the long run both the husband and wife will be blessed by putting their heart, and effort into keeping their marraige sweet, and making their sex life exciting.