What You Gave Him the Silent Treatment?

The other day I was talking to a friend when he said that his wife will sometimes give him the silent treatment for two weeks. Two weeks!! You have got to be kidding me!! What is wrong with this picture? How can a person do this to another person?

So let’s talk about this. There has to be something in the relationship that has gone on over the years that has brought this couple to the point where the wife feels the need to give her husband the silent treatment for two whole weeks. This did not happen over night and it cannot be solved over night. Somewhere in the relationship there was lack of care for the wife, (see Marriage Men Don’t Get It ) or the wife does not feel the need to submit (see Marriage Women don’t Get it Biblically Speaking ) but anyway you look at it there is a definite communication problem involved.

Most relationship problems begin and end with communication. The man who should be the head does not communicate with his wife what he wants or needs perhaps he’s to busy watching sports. The wife who loves communication and wants to be taken care of begins to take control and lead because the husband is not communicating.

The breakdown always has communication involved! If a husband and wife do not talk, if they go and do their own things without regular meaningful  conversation then the relationship will most likely fail. My wife and I talk just about every night at around nine o’clock. Recently I was in Washington to attend some major league baseball games. I took my son and stayed with some friends. This family had two daughters around my sons age. The kids were watching television one night when I went to bed. I figured they would have more of  a chance to talk and be themselves if I was not present in the room. The next day the mom told me that her daughters said my son actually talked. They were surprised and told their mom that guys do not usually talk.  Interesting thought that women believe guys do not talk much. To some degree this is probably true. Men in general will talk less especially if they are involved in something like watching football. 

Ladies here’s a tip if he is engrossed in a sporting event, or whatever his favorite thing is, rather than try and engage him in a big conversation ask when is a good time for us to talk? Perhaps suggest a time like right after the game. The best time to ask him is during a commercial if he is watching something on TV. My wife is tremendous at utilizing what I just shared with you.

Years ago I gave a guy some advice on being the head of the household. Unfortunately he took my advice and became the household commando. Men it’s important as the head of a household that you and your wife talk things through and come to a conclusion together. You do not want to be a military commander who makes decisions without respect to what your wife needs or desires. Sometimes a couple will not be able to make a decision together, and the man is going to need to make the final decision, but most of the time a mutual decision will be easy to come by.

I believe that most women want the man to be the head of the household. However women are natural leaders and will take over the role of being the head of the household if the man allows her to. If a man does not communicate then it is just about guaranteed that she will take over the role of head of the household.

In truth the woman controls the flow of the household. She knows what is going on with everyone in the household  and without her advice on how to handle a situation chances are the decision the man makes will be wrong anyway.  So men talk to your wife she is very wise and needs to be involved in the decision making.

I will tell you this.  If my wife gave me the silent treatment for one day she would hear it from me. We do to like to let the sun go down on our wrath, and we will push until we see a resolution to a problem.  For this reason we get along great and very seldom do we argue or fight. We communicate on a regular basis.

So communicate, communicate, communicate, talk, talk, talk. Ladies don’t give him the silent treatment for two weeks. Go until you see glass, don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. When you do this you will be much happier. Two weeks of tension in a household is nuts.

Men lead your household  with compassion, love and plenty of communication.